I have come to the realization that despite how much I miss Morocco, if I went back now to live there, I would be disappointed. Not because I don't like Morocco (if you've ever read an entry of this blog you KNOW that is not the case) but because I remember Morocco a certain way. I remember getting up every morning, awoken by the sound of the teapot whistling. I remember eating hobz wamlou every morning. I remember heading to school on the 13 or the 10-I preferred the 10 because it wasn't crowded with University students- and getting off at the Gueliz Central Market. I remember walking along the same road, past the terrible smelling garbage piles, past the restaurants, past the health clinic, and then down the road past the yellow school buses. I remember usually being the first at school because I hated being late.
That is how I remember Morocco. I remember hanging out with friends, getting coffee, talking about many different things. If someone had told me that all of these would be memories, and I would no longer be living it, I would have been heartbroken. But I somehow pushed the "leaving" part of the exchange out of my mind.
If I returned to Morocco, I would be surprised because I wouldn't have the usual schedule anymore. 99% of what makes an exchange is being there in the moment. Now, Im not very good at that, even now I'm thinking about starting University instead of enjoying my last days in Italy. But I have gotten significantly better at living and being present in the moment. Obviously it is something that comes with age, something that comes with experience. The United States of America harbors a society which is monochronic-planners ahead, always looking towards the future-and not necessarily everybody fits the mold of a monochronic personality. I found myself much more at ease while I was living in a society which is polychronic. A big part of a poluchronic society is the relaxed nature of the people there. Take Morocco, for example. Everyone is very relaxed, thinking about the present and appreciating everything they have. By making this observation, I am by no means saying that monochronic people are incapable of appreciating everything they have, they just appreciate in a different way.
How does this all tie in to my realization? I'm not sure yet. Perhaps I'm trying to tell myself that it's ok, completely normal, to miss Morocco and my life there; but it is unrealistic to think that going back will make me happy again. Im sure that I will be very happy at university, taking interesting classes, and most importantly it is somewhere I can grow as a person. That's one thing living in Morocco did for me. I became much more sure of my values, morals, what I could be more or less lenient about. I was able to discover that my love for the Arabic language wasn't just a passing phase or a language I wanted to check off my list; rather it is something I plan on continuing to study for the rest of my life. I discovered what I want (more or less) in life, and what type of friends I want.
My friends from home might not see how I have changed, they might say that I look the same, or I am the same person. But I know and my family in Morocco knows, that as a person, I couldn't be more different from when I first set foot in Morocco.
That is how I remember Morocco. I remember hanging out with friends, getting coffee, talking about many different things. If someone had told me that all of these would be memories, and I would no longer be living it, I would have been heartbroken. But I somehow pushed the "leaving" part of the exchange out of my mind.
If I returned to Morocco, I would be surprised because I wouldn't have the usual schedule anymore. 99% of what makes an exchange is being there in the moment. Now, Im not very good at that, even now I'm thinking about starting University instead of enjoying my last days in Italy. But I have gotten significantly better at living and being present in the moment. Obviously it is something that comes with age, something that comes with experience. The United States of America harbors a society which is monochronic-planners ahead, always looking towards the future-and not necessarily everybody fits the mold of a monochronic personality. I found myself much more at ease while I was living in a society which is polychronic. A big part of a poluchronic society is the relaxed nature of the people there. Take Morocco, for example. Everyone is very relaxed, thinking about the present and appreciating everything they have. By making this observation, I am by no means saying that monochronic people are incapable of appreciating everything they have, they just appreciate in a different way.
How does this all tie in to my realization? I'm not sure yet. Perhaps I'm trying to tell myself that it's ok, completely normal, to miss Morocco and my life there; but it is unrealistic to think that going back will make me happy again. Im sure that I will be very happy at university, taking interesting classes, and most importantly it is somewhere I can grow as a person. That's one thing living in Morocco did for me. I became much more sure of my values, morals, what I could be more or less lenient about. I was able to discover that my love for the Arabic language wasn't just a passing phase or a language I wanted to check off my list; rather it is something I plan on continuing to study for the rest of my life. I discovered what I want (more or less) in life, and what type of friends I want.
My friends from home might not see how I have changed, they might say that I look the same, or I am the same person. But I know and my family in Morocco knows, that as a person, I couldn't be more different from when I first set foot in Morocco.
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