You get asked "How was Morocco?" and then you can't stop talking about it. You get asked "where were you again" to only be able to squeeze out an answer, and then the other person moves on to a more "interesting" subject. You compare everything to Morocco, your life there.
It's really hard to be back in a life that I knew so well, and then left. I feel as if I don't belong, I feel as if everyone has gone on with their life, aside from me. I haven't seen anyone from my graduating class, none of my friends because they're not home yet. I'm worried about seeing them because I don't know what we'll talk about. I don't know how it will be, seeing them. They will have changed as well. I just want to go back to Morocco. But I know that even if I go back, it will not be the same. Part of me needs that closure. I need to be reassured that it is not the same that I left it. So much of what made my experience were the people I was with. The other NSLI-Y students.
The main problem is that I have no idea how to deal with these feelings of belonging and difference. But I'm sure that with time, i'll learn how to deal with them.
It's really hard to be back in a life that I knew so well, and then left. I feel as if I don't belong, I feel as if everyone has gone on with their life, aside from me. I haven't seen anyone from my graduating class, none of my friends because they're not home yet. I'm worried about seeing them because I don't know what we'll talk about. I don't know how it will be, seeing them. They will have changed as well. I just want to go back to Morocco. But I know that even if I go back, it will not be the same. Part of me needs that closure. I need to be reassured that it is not the same that I left it. So much of what made my experience were the people I was with. The other NSLI-Y students.
The main problem is that I have no idea how to deal with these feelings of belonging and difference. But I'm sure that with time, i'll learn how to deal with them.
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