So I'm going back to Morocco

So I'm going back to Morocco, but not to study Arabic. Im going back for 2 weeks this summer to do research, and I am quite excited. Not only am I excited to go back to a country I called home for eight months, but I'm also excited to actually research there instead of being a student.
I'll keep this blog updated as I go on, but for now this is all I have! 

I have come to the realization that

I have come to the realization that despite how much I miss Morocco, if I went back now to live there, I would be disappointed. Not because I don't like Morocco (if you've ever read an entry of this blog you KNOW that is not the case) but because I remember Morocco a certain way. I remember getting up every morning, awoken by the sound of the teapot whistling. I remember eating hobz wamlou every morning. I remember heading to school on the 13 or the 10-I preferred the 10 because it wasn't crowded with University students- and getting off at the Gueliz Central Market. I remember walking along the same road, past the terrible smelling garbage piles, past the restaurants, past the health clinic, and then down the road past the yellow school buses. I remember usually being the first at school because I hated being late.
That is how I remember Morocco. I remember hanging out with friends, getting coffee, talking about many different things. If someone had told me that all of these would be memories, and I would no longer be living it, I would have been heartbroken. But I somehow pushed the "leaving" part of the exchange out of my mind.
If I returned to Morocco, I would be surprised because I wouldn't have the usual schedule anymore. 99% of what makes an exchange is being there in the moment. Now, Im not very good at that, even now I'm thinking about starting University instead of enjoying my last days in Italy. But I have gotten significantly better at living and being present in the moment. Obviously it is something that comes with age, something that comes with experience. The United States of America harbors a society which is monochronic-planners ahead, always looking towards the future-and not necessarily everybody fits the mold of a monochronic personality. I found myself much more at ease while I was living in a society which is polychronic. A big part of a poluchronic society is the relaxed nature of the people there. Take Morocco, for example. Everyone is very relaxed, thinking about the present and appreciating everything they have. By making this observation, I am by no means saying that monochronic people are incapable of appreciating everything they have, they just appreciate in a different way.

How does this all tie in to my realization? I'm not sure yet. Perhaps I'm trying to tell myself that it's ok, completely normal, to miss Morocco and my life there; but it is unrealistic to think that going back will make me happy again. Im sure that I will be very happy at university, taking interesting classes, and most importantly it is somewhere I can grow as a person. That's one thing living in Morocco did for me. I became much more sure of my values, morals, what I could be more or less lenient about. I was able to discover that my love for the Arabic language wasn't just a passing phase or a language I wanted to check off my list; rather it is something I plan on continuing to study for the rest of my life. I discovered what I want (more or less) in life, and what type of friends I want.

My friends from home might not see how I have changed, they might say that I look the same, or I am the same person. But I know and my family in Morocco knows, that as a person, I couldn't be more different from when I first set foot in Morocco. 

Letting go

It's been about a week since I've been back. In the beginning, it was very very difficult. It was hard to not hear my host family walking about, making tea, and arguing as I usually heard them. It was difficult to see how individualized out society is, no one seeming to care about others. It was difficult to understand why anyone would want to live in a society in which humans don't really interact. It was very difficult to get into a schedule. I felt as if I had no purpose; I was no longer studying Arabic or working, I was just kind of living my life and it felt weird.

But now, I feel a bit better about being back. Honestly, the best thing for me was to just ignore the fact that I wasn't feeling at home in the United States. So I adopted the idea of viewing my life here through a "study abroad" lens. It made things a whole lot easier. Viewing things through that lens allowed me to made critical observations about the US and it allows me to understand a bit better, why certain decisions are made. I do like the US, I just don't really feel at home here. There is a very small sense of community, and it is only brought out when tragedies strike, which is a pity. It's a pity because the bond that exists is so strong, and I believe it would help the US succeed as a nation, even more than it is.

So re-entry has been interesting, to say the least. Im glad to be back for a short period of time; and working has allowed me to shift my thoughts from "why am I no longer in Morocco" to "goodness I really dislike this trivial job", which in some ways is healthier.

So until my next adventure takes off, I don't think I'll be using this blog for a while. I'll probably write something in regards to moving across country for college in the fall, but that's about it.

Bsalama, wnshufek min ba3d!
-Safia 

Being back is hard.

You get asked "How was Morocco?" and then you can't stop talking about it. You get asked "where were you again" to only be able to squeeze out an answer, and then the other person moves on to a more "interesting" subject. You compare everything to Morocco, your life there.

It's really hard to be back in a life that I knew so well, and then left. I feel as if I don't belong, I feel as if everyone has gone on with their life, aside from me. I haven't seen anyone from my graduating class, none of my friends because they're not home yet. I'm worried about seeing them because I don't know what we'll talk about. I don't know how it will be, seeing them. They will have changed as well. I just want to go back to Morocco. But I know that even if I go back, it will not be the same. Part of me needs that closure. I need to be reassured that it is not the same that I left it. So much of what made my experience were the people I was with. The other NSLI-Y students.

The main problem is that I have no idea how to deal with these feelings of belonging and difference. But I'm sure that with time, i'll learn how to deal with them. 

All these emotions

I'm sitting in an airport in New York waiting for our flight to DC. I've been crying for the past 24 hours. I miss Morocco, I miss my family, I miss everyone and everything there so much. My host sister sent me a clip of my host mom saying something to me, and so far I've listened to it twice, and cried both times. If I listen to it one more time I won't stop the crying. I want to go back, I don't know how long I can stay in the US for. I miss Morocco, a country in which I think I changed more than I have ever changed in my entire life.

مغربية حتى الموت

I will be back, dont you dare doubt me. 

Final Thoughts

It’s hard to encompass the idea of exchange in to a single paper, no matter how long. My experience in Morocco has been like no other. I have become part of a family, made friendships that will last me a lifetime, and most importantly, I have learned so much about myself as a person. 

Moving to vastly different country with very different values and customs makes you seriously appreciate what you have back home, and what things you come to realize are values that you cannot let go of. As I have lived here, I have noticed that family plays the most important role in life. Back in the states, family is the most important thing to me, although we express it in a different way. 

As opposed to many “typical” Moroccan families, my host family didn’t often show their love and affection towards each other. Despite consistently telling me that Moroccans don’t go off and do their own thing in their own rooms, that is what I continued to see day after day. My host brother, who has maybe spoken a total of 20 words to me since I’ve arrived in Morocco, spends all of his time playing video games on the computer. My host dad, despite being the sweetest man I have ever met, was never really around, and has a very distant relationship to his children. My host mother, on the other hand, is always doing everything to make this family function. With her Quranic radio station playing out of her portable radio, she moves from room to room, cleaning and making the house a better place to live. So in terms of spending time together, I had to become accustomed to not spending much time with my host family; the little time we spent together was cherished and the memories were stored away for a time in which I would want to recall them. I do truly love my host family, all of their quirks, and am so grateful for everything they've done for me in these past 8 months. 

Secondly, the daughters relationship to her father. In the states, I have what I like to think is a rather close and good relationship with my father. We talk, laugh, hug, go on adventures, among many other things. Here, I noticed that my host sister occasionally but very rarely spends time with her father. Girls in general are expected to be closer to their mothers, rather than their fathers. Therefore, I have been lacking a father figure for the entirety of this year, and it’s an interesting thought. I would often sit in the salon and talk for hours with my host mother about religion, life, what i wanted in life, and many other personal topics. The only conversation I can remember with my host father in which we scratched more than the surface was at the very beginning, in which we spoke about Bill Clinton and what I thought of Obama. Regardless, having my host father’s presence even if it is a scarce one, has been a valuable experience and part of my exchange. 

I could go on and explain more about how my life in the United States is vastly different from my life here, but then I would feel as if I had kind of lost the idea and meaning of exchange. It’s not to continuously compare what I had and what I have, but rather to try and understand what I have gained and lost from this exchange, and how the country and culture have made an impact on my life that I will take back to the United States. As for now, I can only recognize the fact that I have changed. I don’t know how, and I don’t know which aspects of Moroccan culture initiated these changes. Then again this is why exchange never really ends, because you will spend your whole life understanding what exactly changed you; that’s the beauty of exchange. 

Khalas

I finished my Arabic course on Friday. We took our final and that's that.

It feels weird, having all this time and nothing to do. I really did enjoy my Arabic class, and we even finished Al Kitaab 1 so that's kinda exciting. Im relieved to be done, though. We finally finally have a break.

So in addition to buying souvenirs for my friends, I am in the process of figuring out what to pack and what to leave behind. I am essentially leaving all of my clothes behind in Morocco, because I have too many things to bring back. But it's ok, it just gives me an excuse to re-stock when I get to the states. Its a strange feeling, leaving a place that i've known as home for the past 8 months. No more stone floors, no more birds flying in and out of my room. Back to hardwood floors, back to large windows, back to pavements that aren't broken. I cant quite explain my feelings yet, so I will wait to write a mushy gushy post. But trust me it's coming. 

Why I'm so afraid of leaving

I think this was also why I was afraid of leaving home. I left a world I knew, a life I knew and had lived for 18 years. But now going back, I expect life to be the same as it was when I left it, even though I know, logically, that will never happen. I have left home, but just because I left, doesn't mean that life there has stopped.
I'm terrified of leaving because I will Marrakech in one way, and when/if I come back, I will expect Marrakech to stay exactly the same. But the reality is that Marrakech (and everywhere) is changing. People will have graduated, gotten married, moved, and life will have moved on. That is precisely why I am so terrified of leaving. I have learned to love Marrakech the way it is; 5 people to a moped Marrakech, Crazy Boys Marrakech, touristy crowded Marrakech...and I have learned to love the people here.

That is my main problem. If I could leave and Marrakech would stay the same, I would have no problem with it.

Teaching

Today was my last day teaching. I have learned so much from my students, so much I never thought I would learn. About my patience, my love for sharing knowledge and so much more. To know that I positively impacted these 6 students lives makes me extremely happy. Seeing them "graduate" today, seeing how far they've come from day one just makes me...well to be honest, it made me tear up. 
So thank you, thank you to my wonderful class for making my first teaching experience such a memorable and enjoyable one.

To the three girls in my class: I know you three are powerful young women. I hope that you use language to fight your battles in the future. Never settle for anything less, you girls are shining stars that can never ever be tied down. Follow your dreams

To the three boys in my class: You guys are feisty. You guys have an amazing passion for English. Despite not always paying attention, I know you guys love to learn, or else you wouldn't have shown up to class everyday. I want to see you all succeed, I want to see you all chase what you're passionate about. 

I will miss them dearly, they taught me all so much. Lastly, they taught me that teaching is a two way street, you cant teach without learning about yourself, and most importantly, how you're impacting the people around you.  

Research Essay

Today, I finally submitted my research essay. I worked on it for about 3 months, and it was all in Arabic. The topic I chose was the immigration process of Libyans and sub-saharan Africans to Italy and the racist tendencies of Italians. This topic was very complicated, but it allowed me to learn so much more about the MENA region as well as Italy.

In case you don't know, I am Italian, so this issue hits home for me. I really enjoyed spending my friday afternoons translating and researching (this is not sarcasm), typing Arabic and drinking good coffee. However, I am quite happy that this is done. Six pages are typed and submitted, the final result of my Arabic studies here.

I still have about 1 week and a half left of Arabic; I cannot believe how quickly this program is coming to an end. In fact, I do not want to think about it, so I shall not. Tomorrow I have my last English class. I cant believe the progress my students have made. Some of them came in with zero English knowledge, and now they know so much. The progress they have made makes me so happy inside, to know I was able to help them in some way.
Tomorrow will be an emotional day. Hopefully I'll be able to hold it together....

I have alot of feelings with regards to the ending of the program, but I don't know how to express them in writing. I will try, when I have more time. But now I need to go to sleep.

So until next time!

The past week of my life

The past week of my life has been a complete whirlwind.

We left for Fes last Wednesday early in the morning. We stopped in Meknes at about 5pm, and were placed into pairs (I was with Jordan), given 50 dirhams and a slip of paper with 3 tasks written on it, and were told to complete the tasks and then find our way to Fes on our own.
That was easily one of the funnest things I've done in a while. We completed the tasks which included taking pictures of various monuments including the empty zoo, and then found our way into a grand taxi (essentially old BMW that sits 3 people in the front and squeezes 4 in the back). We also met up with 1 other teams so we split the grand taxi with them and two Moroccans. The drive took about an hour, and we were dropped off at the train station in Fes, where we met up with another nsliy team. We then piled into another grand taxi and drove to the hotel. As we were driving we all serenaded the driver in arabic, singing the various songs we knew. I think we single handedly made his night.
The following days were spent exploring Fes and receiving two talks on feminism in Islam (we were lectured by two wonderful women who provided very different perspectives. I will elaborate in another blog post).

On the last day we went to Ifrane and visited the university there. The university is modeled after American universities. Also in Ifrane it snowed, like legitimately. It was wonderful.

After Ifrane, Will and I got on a train to Casablanca since we were going to participate in the USA-Maghreb Youth Debates. We debated for on a Moroccan team with two debaters we know from school. On the first day we had four debates, the topics were: 1.) The rate of  income tax paid by the rich should be increased (con) against an Algerian team,  2.) The natural resources of the Maghreb region should belong to it's people (pro) against another Moroccan team, 3) Prosperity is more important than freedom (pro) agains a Tunisian team and 4) Alternative medicine is a threat to public health (pro) against a Moroccan team. We won all of those debates aside from the last one.
The second day of debating was in Rabat, in which we debated three more times, the topics were 5) Globalization imposes Western Culture on the rest of the world (pro) against a different Tunisian team 6) the UN Security Council veto should be abolished (pro) against an American team. After that we learned that we made it to the semi-finals (since we won both of those debates as well) and in the semis we debated 7) The Arab Spring has positively changed the Maghreb (Maghreb meaning: Morocco, Mauritania, Libya, Algeria and Tunisia) (pro) against the same Moroccan team we debated number 4 on.
The final day, we learned that we made it to the finals (AHHH) and we debated: The ban on the Niqab is an infringement on one's freedom of religion (pro) against the Tunisian team we debated number 3 on.
After a wonderful wonderful debate (which part of you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw_3W9bXdtk), we waited anxiously for the results. When they were announced, we couldnt have been more excited, we had won! This meant that we had won the english division of the debate tournament.

We were over the moon, but I think that I was more happy that we had participated. I had gotten the opportunity to meet so many interesting and wonderful people who I never would have otherwise met. It was very fun, very interesting, and best of all, something that allowed all of these countries to participate in a dialogue that is so direly needed by the global community today.

My Paradise

On any given Friday afternoon, you can find probably find me at a specific cafe, Mama Afrika. I come here on fridays to write my Arabic research paper and drink coffee. Why don't I just write my research paper at home, you might be wondering? Well, dear reader, let me inform you as to why.

Mama Afrika has a certain vibe, further emphasized by it's continuous Reggae music that is played. It's vibe is also characterized by the owner of Mama Afrika. He is a very friendly guy, who never fails to address me as "princess" when he sees me. He manages to create a relationship with basically all of his customers, making the cafe all the more family like. When my family came and visited, I took my brother here. It was a nice little bonding experience, also my brother (who doesn't usually like coffee) completely fell in love with a coffee concoction (that i'm almost positive has nicotine in it since it's so damn addictive) called "Cafe Frappe After Eight". It's a cold coffee drink that has mint syrup and chocolate syrup in it. It's so delicious; I almost always get it here.
In addition to the vibe created by Mama Afrika itself, theres also an atmosphere created by the customers of Mama Afrika. Everyone here is young and hip. Occasionally you'll see a tourist or two walk in and have lunch here, but its almost always regulars who come here.

Mama Afrika is located on a street with the nickname of "Gateway to Hell" because of all the so called "haram" activity that goes on here. Two buildings down from Mama Afrika there is a sketch alcohol shop, and next to that there is the *supposed* only gay club in Marrakech. I had people tell me this information, I never went and explored for myself. Another interesting thing about Mama Afrika and the street its located on is the wall across the street that is filled with graffiti, or rather, street art. There are paintings of Bob Marley, and a badass pinup like woman. Seeing street art that isn't Arabic Calligraphy is not very common in Marrakech.

I will definitely miss Mama Afrika when I leave, and I would wholeheartedly reccomend it to any passerby's in Marrakech.

Until next time,
bsalama! 

Debate Tournament

Since the beginning of our time here in Marrakech, another NSLI-Y student and I (Will) have become a part of the debate club at our school. At first, we were just judges. Then this term, we started debating. It started with being challenged by the ENCG (French Moroccan university) since they didn't agree with the way we judged one of their debates. We won that debate, which was a nice surprise. About a week later our debate teacher/coach/English teacher at the CLC asks us if we would like to interview to perhaps participate in an international debate tournament. We both interviewed, not knowing exactly what we were getting ourselves into.

After perusing their website a bit more and after the interview, I discovered that a) we would be representing Morocco, and b) this was an actual real thing. It wasn't something set up by Morocco, but rather the United States.
Last weekend Will and I found out that we both made it, and that we will be participating in this debate competition, representing Morocco. It's an interesting turn of events, but we're nonetheless excited. The debate is taking place in the end of March. I am still a bit unclear as to how this debate will be set up, but you know what, I'm just going to go where the wind takes me.
I'll keep you guys posted on what happens!
Until then,
bsalama!

How to Seffa

In one of my previous blog posts, I explained what some typical Moroccan dishes were.
Last sunday, one of my friends invited me to his house to learn how to make Seffa. I came back and told my host family, and they immediately insisted that I make it for them the next weekend. So this morning I woke up around 8 am (the earliest I've woken up on a sunday since being here) and proceeded to make Seffa with my host mom.

What you will need:
Double Boiler
Seffa noodles (angle hair but smaller in length)
Raisins
Powdered Sugar
Regular sugar (to mix with the almonds when you crush them)
Cinnamon
Oil (vegetable oil works)
Almonds
Patience
A big appetite

First off, we took the sharia(not the law, the noodles) out of the plastic mika (bag). They are similar to Angle's hair pasta, except a lot shorter. Then I put them in a tajine bottom and smothered them in good ol; vegetable oil. This was to make sure that they wouldn't stick together during the cooking process. As I was doing this, my host mom took the double boiler and filled the bottom with water, setting it on the fire waiting for a boil. She then handed me the top part, and I filled it to the top with sharia. I put that on the top of the double boiler, and put a "belt" (in my host mom's terms) around it (which was essentially a plastic bag rolled up to make sure none of the steam gets out).

We let that cook for about 30 minutes. When it was done, I took the top part off the fire and set the whole thing in a big bowl in the tajine bottom. Then we took the water we used to steam the noodles and poured it on top of the sharia. Then we took the sharia and put it back on the double boiler, pouring the water we had just used to kinda rinse it back into the double boiler. Then we dumped out the noodles into the tajine bottom, and proceeded to "open" them (essentially you have to sift through it with your fingers until they are all separated, or until a Moroccan tells you that you are done.)

After this, back in the double boiler and back on the fire they go!! As we waited for the second cooking, I was put in charge of shelling the almonds (which first we put in water over the fire until the almonds made their way to the top) and then crushing them with sugar. This will serve as a condiment for the Seffa. After this was done, we took the Seffa off the fire, dumped it into the tajine bottom, put about a cup of room temperature water on it as we sifted through it. Continue to sift, add the raisins that you let sit in a cup of room temperature water,  then but back into the double boiler to cook for a third time. Now we're waiting for it to finish cooking, for the third time.

After cooking it for a third time, the time is determined by tasting the actual Seffa, you put the completely cooked seffa and raisins into the plate you want to serve it in, add the crushed almonds and continue making into a triangular shaped Seffa mountain. On top of the mountain you add lines of powdered sugar and cinnamon that the eaters will then use to make their Seffa even tastier. For allergy reasons, the cinnamon was left up to our own discretion.

Enjoy!

That is me with the Seffa. It was super yummy. 

There are many different ways to cook it, so far I have heard you must cook it seven times, and then I heard from two separate Moroccan women that you must cook it three times. In the future I will be going with three times because I don't know how to cook it seven times..so yea.
Also, you usually make Seffa with chicken. Although I do not know how to make the chicken, which is why I didn't add it in this recipe. Any slow cooked chicken with spices and onions usually works, although you might want chicken that is on the sweeter side since Seffa is a sweet dish.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading this! I know I enjoyed making and eating the Seffa :D
Until next time~

2 months left

Yup. 2 months. 60 days. until i'm home
The only things I can say right now are: I'm super excited, but I'm also super sad. I have come to love Morocco, and more specifically Marrakech. It's going to be difficult to say goodbye, but it will also be the appropriate time to do so.
In these last 2 months, I will make the most out of my Morocco experience.

That's all I have to say right now, also because I have to go meet a friend because we're going to see the Marrakech Biennale.
Until next time

Feminism.

"I am tired of playing the role of the Approachable Feminist - the woman expected to hold the hand of all those people who still, in the year 2014, claim not to understand what it is that causes women's oppression; who demand to be convinced even of its existence and who then, when you cite fact after statistic after anecdotal report after reality, still use diversions and hypotheticals to try to prove you wrong."
-http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-03-07/ford-dont-get-even-ladies-get-mad/5304704

I am tired, I am tired of having to justify my reasoning behind being a feminist. I'm tired of hearing other women say that females are the enemy. I'm tired of hearing excuses for every single thing a man does, mostly attributing it to the fact that he is a "boy" and "boys will be boys". This is not an excuse, this is nowhere near ok.
In this day and age, you would think that everyone would be a feminist, but there is still so much stigma against the word feminist. No, we are not bra-burning women who believe in the castration of men, no we do not want to destroy the institution of marriage and live on free love communes, no we are not all hippies prancing in meadows. We are students, we are mothers, we are your sisters and your daughters. We want the playing field to be leveled. We want to be able to compete with our brothers in a manner that doesn't always have to bring our gender into question. We want to work in STEM related fields. We want to make one dollar to every mans dollar. Enough with this 77 cent bullshit.
Being a feminist only means believing that men and women are equal, and should be equal in the eyes of society.
Do you believe in the complete equality of men and women?
If you answered yes to that question, you are a feminist. BE PROUD.
SURPRISE.

Being a vegetarian in Morocco

It's impossible. You can't do it. These aren't things that people just say, this is reality. It's impossible to be a vegetarian in Morocco. Not because you can't find dishes without meat, but because the dishes with meat are too good to turn down.

1. Treed/Rfissa

 For example. My favorite moroccan dish is called Treed (interesting fact: in the south of Morocco it's called Treed, in the north it's called Rfissa). It's a labour intensive dish which includes msimmon, chicken tajine, and many hours of labour. You essentially cut up and re-fry the msimmon (a delicious Moroccan snack that you can eat with cheese or Amlou or you can often find it stuffed with onions and veggies)

Misimmon

After re-frying the msimmon, you put it under the chicken tajine, and let the sauce soak into the msimmon. 

Moroccan Chicken tajine. 

After all of this, you serve the delicious treed. The part that makes this dish so labour intensive is the fact that the msimmon is usually made on the spot, as well as the tajine. And I can tell you from personal experience that msimmon is not easy to make. 

2. Seffa

Seffa is also a delicious Moroccan dish. It's essentially broken vermicelli noodles steamed 5-7 times (on the last time you add the raisins) and then the preparing of the chicken. The chicken should be mixed with saffron (essential in Moroccan dishes) onion, spices, and butter. You MUST cook it until it is very tender, and then you take it out of the liquid (which should be a thick sauce). 

You then take the Vermicelli noodles and toss them with butter and powdered sugar. You place the meat and sauce under the pile of noodles, and arrange the noodles appropriately. Afterwards you create lines of cinnamon and powdered sugar (as in the picture) and you can also add crushed almonds, if you so desire. and voila! You have a DELICIOUS Moroccan dish (please dont use my instructions search better and more detailed ones online) but yes, this is my second favorite dish, Seffa. 

3. Mrouzia

I have no idea how to make Mrouzia, but I think this was the first dish I ate in Morocco. It is a sweet and salty meat tajine (usually made with lamb) with honey, spices and very often times prunes. We ate it during the time period of Eid el Adha (the sacrificing of the sheep). It is so yummy. 

4. Pastilla

Pastilla is essentially a meat pie, although it can be stuffed with many different things. My favorite one is pastilla with pigeon. I know that sounds strange for many people, but it's delicious. The pigeon can be substituted with chicken (although it's not the same). The one with pigeon (or chicken) is then coated with powdered sugar and cinnamon, only adding to the already wonderful taste. 

5. Couscous

This is what I eat every friday for lunch. My host mother (and basically all other mothers in Morocco) prepare this dish on fridays. It is couscous with steamed vegetables and oftentimes either lamb or chicken. After Eid el-Adha, we had lamb couscous for about three months afterwards. The couscous that my host mother makes is so good, with pumpkin, cabbage, eggplants, carrots, fava beans, zucchini, potatoes and other vegetables. Everyone is assigned to a "lane" (lanes are often separated by a zucchini or eggplant in my family) and you must stay in your assigned lane. My host mother always throws the meat into my lane and tells me to eat it. She has made it very clear that this is a gesture of love; guests are often showered with meat in their couscous lane, it gets to be overwhelming. In the beginning of my stay in Morocco, it was hard for me to clear out my entire lane. But now, it's so easy to eat all of the couscous. I guess its a question of getting used to it. 

So yea, these are a few of the many reasons why being a vegetarian in Morocco is impossible. Also this is a list of my favorite foods. This list will be updated since it hasn't even begun to cover a third of my favorites in Morocco. 

It's 1.30 am and my stomach is growling since I've been looking a pictures of food for so long...so

Bsalama for now!

Video!!!

Get EXCITEDDDD
I just put together the footage I took of the north of Morocco, enjoy!

On: North of Morocco

On Sunday night we got back from our trip to Tangier, Tetouan and Chefchaouen. I absolutely LOVED Tangier. I have to say that after Marrakech (home will always be home) it is my favorite city in Morocco. What I found most interesting, however, was the significant differences between the faces of Moroccans from the South and Moroccans from the North. The people in the North are lighter (probably from mixed European background) and there just isn't this distinct "Morccan shab" face that I am so used to seeing in Marrakech.
The North ( I have no idea if I should be capitalizing the N in north but oh well) is alot greener. As in there are actual trees, as opposed to the few orange trees ever so present in Marrakech. There are actual pine trees and so many eucalyptus trees. I enjoy the fact that the North looks alot more like the rolling hills where the happy Californian cows live than the South. Morocco is a very diverse country, not only in people but also in the topography and geography of the country. That is one thing that I absolutely love about Morocco.

Lets seee...more about the trip. The drive was very very long, and in Tangier we went and visited the only piece of American land overseas! It's called the American Legation Museum. It was very interesting, and we were actually on American soil, which was interesting to think about.

As of this friday, we will only have three months left. I am both excited by this number and terrified. Today my host sister came back from an interview in Rabat and we had a wonderful talk in which we really connected. This reminded me how hard it will be to leave this country, more than the country it will be hard to leave this family. They have accepted me as one of their own, and I love them to death for it. When I came back from the North, I was greeted by an extensive amount of hugs from my youngest host sister and host mother. My youngest host sister actually ran down the stairs to say hi to me and hugged me for quite a while. I was also quite happy to be back home.
I may have mentioned this previously, but I feel like I can truly call my house here my home. Today I tried to explain the concept of a "home" to my host mother, with the help of my host sister. For me, home means where I feel completely at ease with the people. I feel completely at ease in my host family, I don't feel awkward at all. Writing this is also helping me process what leaving will mean. I will, however, cross that bridge when it comes.

Bsalama for now!
(Also clarification about the last post: the events mentioned didn't directly affect me. Sorry about that confusion.)

Honestly

Trust is something I've always held dear to me. When the State Department chose me as a candidate for the NSLI-Y scholarship, I assumed this meant they trusted me. They trusted me enough to be a language scholar and to uphold the rules set in place by them. This I have done, but what frustrates me the most about this program is the lack of trust between the smaller players. Between the implenting facility in country and the students. Between the individuals that are responsible for the students and the students. One would think that they would trust us enough to believe us when we make certain claims. The complete and utter lack of trust infuriates me. The simple fact of the matter is that one should just listen and take into consideration what we are saying. If someone simply ignores what we, the students HAND PICKED by the State Department, have to say it not only demonstrates a childish attitude, but also a lack of maturity. Of course, one doesn't have to believe what we have to say on the spot, but I thought it was common courtesy to just listen. 

I guess I never expected to not be trusted; I never expected that my actions would be questioned. I would expect the trust from the State Department to be carried on by the resident director and the place of learning in country. 

As much as the State Department tries to make your stay a most pleasurable and hospitable one (which they have done and I am very grateful), it is oftentimes the indivduals not affiliated with the State Department that make you question whether you really want to be here or not. 

Bsalama for now (and insha'allah, the next post will be more upbeat. I just felt that this was in issue I wanted to address. Hopefully this doesn't cause any further issues, I'm just glad this is out in the open now).